Stop Calming Down

Season #1

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Stop trying to calm down when you are feeling anxious.

It rarely works because you cannot force a shift with willpower alone. We are often told that the best way to handle distress is to just relax. But trying to force a calm state when your nervous system is activated usually leads to more frustration.

Instead of fighting your thoughts, you can use your body to change your emotional state. This approach helps you shift your physical response to stress, which is often more immediate than cognitive reframing.

By focusing on somatic regulation, you can find a way to relax in 60 seconds without relying on ineffective pep talks. If you find yourself stuck in a cycle of anxiety, try this physical shift and let me know how it changes your perspective in the comments.

0:00 Why 'Calm Down' Never Works 0:41 Origins of the 1-2-3 Technique 3:15 Understanding Your Nervous System 6:28 Step-by-Step Guide to the Technique 12:19 Taking a Mental Mini-Vacation ----------------------------------- BECOME AN EXTRAORDINARY COACH!JOIN THE MEMBERSHIP NOW & Get My Six-Week Storytelling Course LIVE. https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/membership-aug2025 JOIN 3K+ READERS ON THE WEEKLY ESSENTIAL COACHING SKILLS NEWSLETTER: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/newsletters/the-essential-coaching-skills-newsletter NEED DOUG AS YOUR COACH? BOOK HERE: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/coaching CONNECT ON LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dougobrien/ BECOME AN EXTRAORDINARY COACH! JOIN THE MEMBERSHIP NOW & Get My Six-Week Storytelling Course LIVE. https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/membership JOIN 3K+ READERS ON THE WEEKLY ESSENTIAL COACHING SKILLS NEWSLETTER: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/newsletters/the-essential-coaching-skills-newsletter NEED DOUG AS YOUR COACH? BOOK HERE: https://www.essentialcoachingskills.com/coaching CONNECT ON LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dougobrien/