End-of-Life Doula Jim Brule; "We Fear the Wrong Thing"

Death is one of the most universal experiences—and one of the least discussed. In this powerful conversation, Doug O’Brien speaks with storyteller and end-of-life doula Jim Brulé about what it means to support someone through their final transition. You’ll discover: • what an end-of-life doula actually does • how this work supports families, caregivers, and clients • how coaches can approach mortality with clarity, compassion, and confidence • why listening without agenda is the most powerful skill in end-of-life care • the surprising connection between birth doulas and death doulas • the questions people wish someone would ask them • how to reduce fear by understanding the stages of dying • how Jim’s near-death experience shaped his path • how stories create healing at the end of life If you’re a coach, therapist, chaplain, caregiver, or someone navigating a loved one’s final chapter, this episode offers deep wisdom and grounded guidance. 🔗 Jim’s book: Stories of the Heart 🔗 Doug’s resources: EssentialCoachingSkills.com 00:00 – Introduction Doug introduces storyteller and end-of-life doula Jim Brulé. 00:30 – What Is an End-of-Life Doula? Jim explains the role, the parallels to birth doulas, and how this work supports families and caregivers. 02:41 – How Death Doulas Help Regulatory guidance, emotional support, grief work, and preparation for end-of-life decisions. 04:38 – Pre- and Post-Grief Work Why grief starts long before the moment of death. 05:35 – Is Certification Required? Why end-of-life doula work isn’t regulated and how people enter the profession. 06:33 – Who Chooses This Work? How personal experience with loss inspires many doulas to begin this path. 07:02 – Jim’s Near-Death Experience at Age 10 A powerful moment that shaped his awareness of mortality. 09:01 – Chaplaincy, Trauma, and Spiritual Care Jim’s work in hospitals and how he learned about death doulas. 10:00 – A Day in the Life of an End-of-Life Doula Client types, Zoom work, medical aid in dying, and daily support. 11:27 – The Omega Home Model Caring for dying individuals in small community homes with volunteers. 12:25 – How Doulas and Hospice Work Together Understanding the limitations of hospice and how doulas fill the gaps. 14:19 – Doug’s Personal Hospice Story A candid moment about Doug’s brother’s hospice experience. 15:44 – How End-of-Life Doulas Are Paid How pricing works and why the intention behind compensation matters. 17:14 – Storytelling as a Tool for End-of-Life Work Using stories to open difficult conversations. 20:43 – The Most Important Skill: Deep Listening What people really want to talk about at the end of life. 22:37 – What People Fear Most About Dying Not death itself—but the process of dying. 24:33 – Doug’s Family Story and “Not Talking About Death” How avoidance increases fear. 26:01 – A Story of Meaningful Impact How Jim supported a mother, sister, and young child during a devastating loss. 28:55 – When Should You Bring in a Death Doula? Ideal timing and early conversations. 30:08 – Preparing for a Planned Death A moving story from New Mexico. 32:06 – Why Some People Wait Until They’re Alone to Die The deeper emotional patterns behind “timing.” 33:45 – How This Work Changes Your View of Mortality Time becomes precious. Relationships become central. 35:12 – The Most Important Truth About Dying Death is natural—and understanding it reduces fear. 36:32 – How to Start End-of-Life Conversations With Loved Ones Practical openings to meaningful dialogue. 38:15 – Doug’s Own Journey With Death Anxiety Panic, fear, and finding peace through wisdom traditions. 40:13 – The Odds of Being Alive A reflection on the miracle of existence. 40:43 – Jim’s Book: Stories of the Heart Stories about mortality from cultures around the world. 41:48 – Closing and Links https://storiesoftheheartbook.com https://transformationalstorytelling.org #EndOfLifeDoula #DeathDoula #HospiceCare #GriefSupport #CoachingSkills #StorytellingForHealing #Mortality #EndOfLifeCare #DyingWithDignity #EssentialCoachingSkills